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The Photographer’s Nightmare

Welcome To My Nightmare

I dreamt I was scheduled to photograph Alice Cooper. Granted, he’s jumped the shark (over and over) over the last couple of decades, he is still an artist I would like to include in my portfolio. Unfortunately the planet’s haven’t aligned for myself and Mr Vincent Damon Furnier and the opportunity to be in his pit has not been forthcoming.

Unless it is in dream.

The dream was the last one I dreamt last night and it happened just before I woke.
Every fear one has as a photographer occurred in this dream. Every failure conceivable all happened throughout.
So what does a photographer dread? What does a photographer fear the most?

Here’s how it panned out in the dream

1: I was late meeting the tour manager who is the one scheduled to give you your pass and escort you to the front of the stage. In the dream, all the other photographers were already inside. Alice Cooper had already taken to the stage and every moment I was late, was another moment of not photographing him.

2: You are only allowed to photograph the first three songs, song 1 was already over. In the dream, I was being escorted to the front through the crowd so it felt like trudging through quicksand to get to the photo barrier.

3: Alice is already in full flight and I feel utterly not ready. In a panic, I can’t even adjust my camera settings fast enough to get my shot(s). When usually i can look at a scene and in an instant already have my ISO, Aperture and Shutter ready and able. In the dream, I can’t remember how to do anything so I am blindly taking photos that are dross. Even with Mr Cooper’s face directly in front of me, I manage to botch each and every shot.

4: Your time’s up! Just as I was getting out of my panic the tour manager escorts you out. No more photos even if (in dream) Alice is following you and laying down the best poses and facial expressions your camera is never likely to capture! But you take a chance and are about to take a shot when Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz your alarm clock sounds, wakes you from your sleep and as you re-enter reality you think to yourself, “I need to write this all down…”

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